Thursday, June 12, 2014

Let the countdown begin

You may have already put together what this is about. But it is so hard to believe it is real, that maybe it hasn't occurred to you yet. This blog got started in 2011 when Linda and I first met. Although it doesn't get updated frequently, it has been a transcript of the adventures we've had along the way. They get fewer and further between with time, as we settle into life. But every so often, we have a milestone that needs to be recorded. At first it was small things like places we'd go and short jaunts we'd take. Then it became bigger things like her last visit to Mississippi or our 2 day trek diagonally across the eastern part of this country.

Then came the big news of our engagement. On October 26th, 2013 - just 7 months after moving home and exactly 2 years to the day of our meeting we got engaged. If you haven't read that story, you really should... all the details are in their own post.

Since then it has been a whirlwind of adventures with DJs, photographers, wedding reception locations, the Catholic Church, flowers, invitations and invoice after invoice. We are basically sparing no expense, while being level headed about it all. We are walking the fine line to keep from being grandiose outside our budgets and ensuring it's the day we both envision (and by both... clearly, I mean her).

And then you wake up one day and 228 days have evaporated in front of your eyes and it is one year, to the day, until your nuptials. And all of a sudden you freak out because it's so close. I mean. It was 20 months away from the day we stood on the Brooklyn Bridge crying, hugging and kissing. And now it's 12 months away. That' a measurable unit of time. ONE year. ONE trip around the sun. And then the next epiphany comes and you realize you don't care. It could be tomorrow for all it matters. It's one year from some arbitrary date, in reality. You love each other. You live together. It's one year until there's a legal decree. It's one year until a name change and a hell of a party, but nothing else changes. Nothing else matters. We are married now, for all intents and purposes. Our lives are shared until death do us part even without the notary stamp.

But wait one more minute. It does matter. The event does, in fact, matter. Not for us, but it's not just about us, is it? We have friends and family and co-workers and, in truth, some people we've never met all waiting for the day we profess our love to one another. Signed, sealed, delivered - until death do us part. That does matter. My friends and family and Linda's friends and family do get to see this and should get to see this. Because we are that couple. We do everything together. We have food adventures together. We cook together. We get drunk on Sundays together. We binge watch TV together. We share our hopes and dreams together. We want to build a life and a family of our own together. We got it right. We became best friends and then I fell in love with my best friend.

And those friends and that family... they are also my life. And even though we've all met one another... for the first time we will be Mr. and Mrs. and our lives will merge. She can still go watch shirtless Channing Tatum movies with the girls and I can still watch movies with guns, explosions and breasts with the guys, but the activities we do, do not define who we are. We are a couple that actually enjoys being around one another nearly constantly (nearly).

Linda and I are not high school sweethearts. We've been through the wringer with relationships. And we are lucky enough to have found each other. One of us is luckier than the other, but I'll let you figure out which is which. And dammit... I want the whole world to see and know. I want to everyone we've ever met to celebrate and bask in our joy.

So after going through this series of flip flops I realized a couple of things.
  • I don't need any more time to prepare marrying my Linda because I'm ready to spend forever together.
  • I need that whole year to prepare marrying my Linda because the other important parts of our lives deserve an amazing, joy filled day to celebrate with us.
And so, with 365 days to go, we go on with being who we are - best friends and lovers, but we do it with a certain level of excitement knowing that in one year from today we will formalize all of it and celebrate our joy with all of the people we love most in the world. And every time we think of the challenges associated with this event, we will remember that a day like that deserves all of the attention it gets.

The only part I'm not ready for... the overwhelming emotions of standing at the alter and watching Linda walk down the aisle toward me. In my wildest imagination I cannot come close to knowing how beautiful she'll be. It's going to be a long year.